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"What Pastors Wish Deacons Knew" By Derek Gentle

This article was referred to me by a brother in Christ, and is no reflection whatsoever of Grace Fellowship and our Deacons. As a matter of fact, most of it doesn't apply, and this type of thing is often the result of giving Deacons in baptist and other churches more authority in the church than the bible gives. This is for the general benefit of those who read, and for the glory of God


What Pastors Wish Deacons Knew

by Derek Gentle

I appreciate you more than you know
There is not a greater blessing in a pastor's life than a godly deacon who loves the Lord and loves the Word of God. I feel that I couldn't have a more wonderful relationship with them. I wish every pastor were so blessed. Just looking out in the service and seeing you there is an encouragement. Knowing you are praying for me motivates me. Knowing you share the vision of a growing, evangelistic church and impacting our community challenges me to my best efforts! God bless you godly deacon. You are appreciated!

Not only do I appreciate you, I need you. Let me list some reasons why. These items represent a general view, based on the experiences of numerous pastors at multiple churches.

Pastors need their deacons understood the level of stress they live with
There are several causes of this stress. Pastors deal with life and death issues regularly. They are always on call. They live with constant deadlines. There is the unrelenting creative process; every Wednesday and every Sunday they have to be ready to preach and teach. If they take some vacation time, but have to come back to preach on Sunday, they are not fully on vacation, and are not completely with their families. They have to spend a lot of "think time" preparing their work. Then, they have a large number of people who go home and evaluate how they did. In fact, every decision they make, from personnel matters to the order of service is under constant scrutiny. They go into monthly deacons meetings not knowing if someone will be upset about something. Usually, there isn’t a problem, but they never know. If someone goes into the hospital and they don’t know about it, there are those who complain to fellow church members that the pastor didn’t visit. Your pastor needs you to remember that this stress is a part of his daily life. Sometimes they need you to come to their rescue when it gets to be too much.

Pastors don’t have all of the spiritual gifts
Pastors are expected to be preachers, administrators, hospital chaplains, and friends of the home bound. They are personal evangelists, counselors, leaders, and visionaries. How many times does a church lose its pastor and then vow to find a man who will do what the last pastor couldn’t? "Brother Joe was a fine preacher, but he wasn’t good to visit; our next preacher will be more of a pastor!" Then, after Brother Sid leaves: "I loved ole Brother Sid; he sure was good to visit, but he couldn’t preach a lick, bless his heart. Our next man needs to be able to preach!" Why can’t church members figure out that one man is limited to one personality, one driving passion, and one spiritual gift-set? The truth is, even if a man were gifted in every way, he wouldn’t have enough time to do everything well. Like you, doing what I am gifted at energizes me; doing the things that I'm not drains me. Accept your pastor for who he is and then staff and use volunteers to balance his weaknesses

Pastors have multiple constituencies with whom they must deal
Many church members have only to please their immediate supervisors. Pastors don't have one supervisor to whom they report. (True, they report to the Lord, but let’s face it, how long they get to stay at the church and if they get raises, and if their leadership is supported... well, these matters aren’t always determined by the Lord). There are the deacons, the personnel committee, the stewardship committee, the senior adults, the young adults, and on and on.

Pastors don’t have the power many think they have
Some church members own and run their own business free from "political considerations," but the pastor isn't able to run the church his own way. Often, pastors are given responsibility without being given the needed authority. For example, he is given the responsibility of supervising the rest of the ministerial staff. However, the pastor’s input often isn’t even sought at budget time when raises are being discussed. He may have to go through a committee, the deacons, and a church vote to dismiss a staff member. Sometimes, staff members have a group of supporters in the church who would make such a move risky. The pastor is dependant on the good will of each staff member and his own ability to lead others based only on his moral influence. The occassional bad-apple staff member will realize this and use it to his advantage.

There are often unrealistic expectations placed on the family of the pastor
The deacons and church should know that they did not call an additional staff member for the price of one. The call to pastor is unique and the pastor's family has the role of supporting him, but not the role not being the unofficial staff. Also, children are children whether they are pastor's children or not.

Getting time away is difficult for pastors
First, Pastors are generally concientious about taking their vacation time. They will put the church calendar first and take what's left. Though they should, many will not take all the time they have coming. Further, church members can get away for a few weekends during the year. Some pastors have a difficult time taking two days in a row off. If a pastor’s wife holds a job and has to work on Friday, it is particularly difficult. For example, in one church, we had a stretch in which we had to postpone or come back early from 80% of our vacations. Someone had died each time. It became something of a joke, "Uh oh, the pastor is going away." One can imagine how such experiences could hinder pastors' children's attitude about having a Dad in the ministry. These situations are almost always unavoidable, but a little alertness on the part of deacons can help their mintisters make up for lost vacation time. As Vance Havner said, referring to the practice of Jesus, "If we don't 'come apart', we will come apart." It is to the church's advantage to encourage their minister to get away for a break now and then.

Respect his training
A pastor may have a college degree, a masters degree, perhaps an earned doctorate... he may have have been to innumerable training events... He may have shelves of books of commentaries and hundreds of books on theology, evangelism, and church growth. He may have given his life to working and thinking and learning about pastoring since his teens. Yet, occasionally, a burden of proof is placed on the pastor to "prove" the details of his recommendations in deacons meetings. No pastor minds answering questions - and most miniters aren't bothered when people of good will disagree. But sometimes, such a discussion is a case of people pooling their ignorance. They may be arguing with the only person in the room who knows what he's talking about. Respect the pastor’s training.

The meeting ain’t deac-ing
Attending meetings and giving orders to the paid employees of the church is not "serving" and it is not fulfilling the office of deacon. It’s more like Lou Holtz’s description of football: Twenty-two people desperately needing a rest being watched by 60,000 people desperately needing some exercise. One minister wrote me to say, "I wish all deacons were familiar with, not only the qualifications of a pastor which they expect to be adhered to, but also the qualifications of a deacon which should carry the same weight and commitment."

In most churches, there's no one with the job of looking out for the pastor
The deacons and personnel committees are sometimes called upon to deal with crises as they arise. On the other hand, most churches have no one who understands minister's taxes or who, during the budget process, takes the time to look over the history of his compensaton. Many don't think to check when he last received a raise or to look at the inflation rate for the previous year. There is always that group determined to see that he doesn't get too much, but often there isn't a group to see that he gets enough.

The dog isn't sleeping just because it's not biting you
Sometimes, a pastor will have a member dealing him continuous misery. When he asks for help in dealing with the situation, he might hear something like, "Pastor, let's let sleeping dogs lie." However, a sleeping dog is one who isn't bothering anyone. That dog isn't likely to bite unless provoked. If a member is harassing your pastor, he isn't a sleeping dog, he it's a biting dog. Go to his aid!

The church is not General Motors
The church does not exist, as does a business, to make a profit or to hoard money. The church is on a mission. The main work of the whole church for the whole age is evangelism. The church is content oriented and the Bible is its source of authority. It's about Jesus! Deacons have the opportunity and influence to help the entire church family stay on message.

Pastors would rather hear bad news from their friends than from their enemies
Sometimes, we pastors are going to mess up. And sometimes someone has to tell us the hard facts. When this is true, we would rather hear it from our friends than from our enemies. Our friends want us to succeed. They will tell us in love, without trying to embarrass us or wound us. They have our best interests at heart. We need you to be that kind of friend.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Just an observation that may be incorrect (or might be right on):

This alticle never once mentions "Elders" and many (or at least some) of the aspects decribed sound more like the function/responsibility of Elders. With all the talk of "deacons and personnel committees" and "staff members", one gets the impression that the writer feels that church government consists of a pastor/governor with a bunch of deacons and "staff members" underneath him.

I guess my point is, perhaps most of the issues raised (vacation, demands against family, limited spiritual gifts, etc.) are lessened when a church is functioning properly with a plurality of Elders.

-Tyson
Anonymous said…
I'd like to add balance to my previous post above by stating that I agree with the overall tone of this article.

On the whole, pastors are appreciated less and relied upon more then what is their due.

Tyson
Pester Brat said…
Amen Tyson. That's one of the reasons I have been so thanful that the Lord led me to Grace Fellowship with our "plurality of elders" church government, and our biblical view of the roles of elders and deacons. And of course I'm thankful to be serving the Lord with yourself, Butch, Bob and Steve, by the grace of God and for His glory!

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