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News Odds and Ends

Group Wants Chimp Declared a Person
A chimpanzee, Haisl, who likes pastry, painting and watching TV, would also be able to receive donations and have the right to own property if an Austrian federal court overturns the ruling of a lower court. The Association Against Animal Factories, a Vienna animal-rights group, has asked the court to legally declare Haisl a "person," giving the 26-year-old male chimp the right to have a guardian and receive donations for a new home. Haisl, who was originally captured in Sierra Leone for use in pharmaceutical experiments, was intercepted by customs agents on the way to Austria, and has lived for the past 25 years in a shelter that recently went bankrupt.

Post-Rapture Postal Delivery
A Florida man, who not only doesn't believe that Jesus is coming back, but doesn't even believe that He exists, has found a way to make a profit off those who do believe. For as little as $4.99, Joshua Witter, a self-described atheist living in Orlando, will deliver letters to friends and loved ones left behind after the Rapture. So far, only 11 people have signed up for the service, called Post-Rapture Post. T-shirts, mugs and Rapture survival guides are also available on his Web site.

On a more serious note...

Student Forced to Watch Brokeback Mountain
A substitute teacher at Ashburn Community Elementary School told students, "What happens in Ms. Buford's class stays in Ms. Buford's class" and then proceeded to shut the classroom door and show the film, "Brokeback Mountain," about two cowboys involved in a homosexual affair.

Kenneth and LaVerne Richardson, the grandparents of a 12-year-old student who viewed the film, have filed a lawsuit and are seeking close to $500,000 in damages for psychological distress and false imprisonment against the Chicago Board of Education. "It is very important to me that my children not be exposed to this," Kenneth Richardson said. "The teacher knew she was not supposed to do this."

Bruce Hausknecht, judicial analyst for Focus on the Family Action, said that he has seen many news reports in recent months about elementary students being forced to take sex surveys or read pro-homosexual materials. The Supreme Court has recognized parental rights, including rights to be involved in all aspects of public education. "Unfortunately, of late, we have seen federal courts limiting those rights by coming to the aid of school districts that make outrageous detours," he said, "granting cover to such activity by buying into the notion that it is all 'curriculum-related.'"

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